||* pooh * eeyore * piglet * tigger xDD `]]

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Thank you. I know I am like the only one blogging here. -____-

Like I said, squadmates all don't know die until where le. And I'm neglecting my happy family blog (: Coz the password is so irritating! >.<

wowwowwow. I think blogging isn't that good afterall. Therefore, I shall take back my words on the last post about how blogging can help you destress. heh. I mean like you shouldn't write down ______'s _____! That is so mean can.

I shall explain the issue on _________ with loads of blanks. That is if you can figure it out. (:
1) We do not only qiang3 with you all.
2) We qiang3 with ______ too.
3) You don't dare to qiang3 is not our business
4) You want to give us of course we take right? [duh!]
We were once like you all when playing _______ with _______. But one day, we realised that it's not fun at all! You don't call this playing when you are _______ _______ the _____ all the time right? So that faithful day, we decided to ________. And that was the first ever _________ that we enjoyed so much. and I believe ________ had fun too. I know it's not correct when some ________ qiang3 with you all when you all already ____ ____ ____. But they didn't do that on purpose! That was their tian1 xing4. Being rough and stuff. But since we had already decided to ______ and have fun, we do it. and those _________ were merely trying to get _______ for us! They didn't purposely not want to respect you or something. Like we are just trying to treat a game as a game. What's the point if you just keep ______ _____ the ____? I mean like we do that to all the _______. So if that is called disrespectful, then we are disrespecting all of them. Not only you.

Oh gosh. Are my blanks too obvious or something? Anyway, I'm like feeling so funny. There are so many weird thingos going on. haiz. I mean like if you were _________ of 41, of course I understand and I agree. Although I must say I am not _________ of them. Coz like they having SO MUCH 'love' will only ruin them. *coughcough* I must admit too that we have been given lesser _____ ______ nowadays. I think she suddenly gained enlightenment or something. I mean not nowadays. Eversince she gained enlightenment and love us hoho. Okay. fine. Judging from how they describes it. I reckon we are much luckier. We have nice nice _____! Although like I said, at the start they were like yours >.<

I'm starting to think that we are like the luckiest... Like ____ has too much, ______ has too little. we are gang1 gang1 hao3 xD hahaha. Come to think of it, I'm starting to think that _______ has a reason to _________ us for. WAHAHA.

People in the past worked on scoldings will people know work with love. wow. But giving too much can cause your partner to crawl over your head and eventually resulting is your head being damaged as well as hers [coz she will thus drop from your head and land on the floor xD with a BOOM]. haha. Like this day you give them a rose. The next day they will expect a bouquet and they next, they will expect a necklace or something? and the list goes on. Therefore, I must say that there must have a balance between love and fierceness. Like no love will result in 'depression' and too much will result in 'pamperness' like ______. I don't know what they hell they are doing man. pppleeassseee.

I shall continue in the Happy family blog(:
Because I feel guilty for not posting for more than 2 weeks [??] there. I promised mc I'll post last Saturday. hehe. Or was it Sunday? Who cares la. Go to da Happy Family blog for continuation of my nice grandma stories. [grandma reminds me of cong. WAHAHA =X] hoho. Lucky I'm save at home now. if not, she'll probably chase after me start hitting me [GASPS! That's abusing her authority as a mum!] like she always does whenever anyone calls her mummy. hehe. But I think zui jin her reaction not so strong le. She probably used to it. wahaha.

~~MUMMY! I WANT ICE CREAM!! WAHHHHH!~~

kawaii!;
5:10 PM

Sunday, March 25, 2007

eh. I'm back. And I replying to someone's posts in my own point of view. So no offence to whoever I offend.

[I know I have no say in this. But I just want to say my opinion.] I know I might get hated for this post especially by someone who never fails to find all faults except those on herself. I know I have a nice password protected Happy Family blog which I can curse and offend whoever I want as much as I want. So why am I blogging here? Coz like I said I just want you all to know things from my point of view as a member of 40. [and I'm not going to care if you all hate me ok.]

I know this is none of my business but I can't help poking my head into this matter. Coz to a certain extend I disagree/agree with some stuffs.

First things first. You heard of something called ni kan wo hao, wo kan ni hao?
Humans are all like that. Can't help it. But you know something? You think _______ adores us and we are their bao3 bei4 while we think otherwise? We have always been thinking that you all are under nice care and protection of _______ while we are the ones that they always give chou lians at? and the ones they hate the most? We have always thought of ourselves as the worst squad ever. Only to realise you too, think the same way. What a joke.

I incidentally heard on the radio one day. The worst thing to do to your child is to compare him/her with other children. Maybe at the start they will try very hard to improve to meet your standards. But one day, when they realised that they will never be able to meet your expectations, they will just give up on themselves. And all these are caused by you. Many others, will start stealing etc. to grap your attention, knowing they can get your attention by the correct positive way, they will resort to other negative methods. Though I'm not sure what that means in a NYNP context, but I know hardly ever will they get a positive result.

[I'm just stating what I heard on the radio. As I am not in the whirlwind they are curently in therefore I can't just make pointless conclusions from a person in the situation's point of view]

haha. I suddenly think it's tough being NYNP cadets [??] Oh and NYNP is kind of funny. There's so much hatred. haha. this is so funny. We have to try our best not to be hated by ma'ams [and cadets??], and upon being hated, we have to try our best not to get affected and stand up on our feets bravely again, against all odds. Life has to go on. It's like nanyang life itself is not very slack already and what's all this rubbish for? haha.

Although I know that we have now xiang3 tong1 le and we don't really care if ma'ams hate us anymore, but I still remembered how depressed we were knowing everyone hates us. It's like so weird. You do well, you get hated, you don't do well, also get hated. haha. So we might as well tiao lou and end all agonies right?

haha. But on another thought, I think it's good training though. haha. Next time when we go out to work, we would have had more experience in these sorts of things. haha.

haha. I think like all batches in NYNP would at one point of time or another have thought of mass quiting together as a squad together. Times when you are feeling so depressed coz of whatever reasons. I think our squad thought of tiaolou-ing more times than wanting to mass quit. LOL. Come to think of it, it was really funny. Every night mass convers we will just keep thinking of tiao lou ing. lol. Squadmates made up things like "Let's meet at 2 early in the morning and we can go tiaolou together." Then other squadmates will go "MUST WAIT FOR ME HOR!" haha. Okay... It's funny now but it wasn't at that point of time.

There's another one that goes like this: We jump down, then instead of dropping directly, we will float to the TOs and go "Bye TOs" then float to 38 ma'ams and go "Bye ma'ams" then float to 39 ma'ams and go "Bye ma'ams" before we drop down and die. [actually I cannot really remember. But I think it was something like that la] Then everyone will attend our funeral. TOs upon seeing us dead, will hold hands and sing lalala song and dance. Then 38 ma'ams will come and seeing 40 dead, they will rejoice and hold hands [together with TOs] and do lalala song and dance. Then 39 ma'ams come and go "YAY! 40 si le!" and do lalala dance also with 38ma'ams and TOs.

Is it arh? I think it's wrong eh. but it's something like this la. OH. If I remember correctly, this was one of chuxi's dream. HAHAHA. So funny. Chuxi always have some funny dreams. I still remember last time chuxi dreamt that ________ force us to go zi sha. And another one was ________ chasing her with butcher knife.

Wait. I'm digressing. haha. I just want to say that there's always a fall in everyone's life. And just by chuxi's horrifying dreams we can infer that type of pressure we were under at that time. but the most important thing is that we stood up. [Although I think it's because of other reasons that made us able to stand up haha]

okok. Back to topic. ehh. erm. hmm. 1 thing. someone who expresses her views freely DEFINITELY does NOT have AP. In fact, I think she should be praised! Having the courage to express your zhen1 xin1 views is not easy. Especially in an environment like nynp =X haha. I'm not saying _________ accused _________ of having AP because they express their views freely. Coz like I said, I'm not in the situation and I do not understand the whole picture. But if what _________ said is true, [which might not be. Coz like I said it's a first person's point of view], _________ should apologise. Hey pleaaseeee. I totally agree with what my sis said once when we were quarelling over whose unit is better and about the barrier. "YOU THINK BY HAVING THE BARRIER, AND MAKING YOU ALL SCARED OF YOUR MA'AMS WILL ALLOW THEM TO HAVE TRUTHFUL ANSWERS FROM YOU?!!" I didn't know how to answer. so all I said was " We are not afraid of ma'ams, we truely respect them. Not like you"

That's not the point. haha. What I'm trying to say is many a times, they do not get truthful replies. Either they are trying to pai1 ma'am de ma3 pi4 or they are afraid their answer will de2 zui4 ma'am. I shall give you all an example:-

One day, 35 ma'ams talked to us, wanting to liao2 jie3 the NYNP now more and to get feedbacks from us so that they can help improve NYNP. and you wouldn't believe how many squadmates announced their love for drills and act. haha. and when there's like going to be act, everyone would be complaining and stuff and since you all like drills so much, why I don't see you all turning up for all squad meetings arh? WHY?

I'm not refering to anyone (: but if you think it's you... then CONGRATS! It's you then.

Wait. back to my point. As I was saying, therefore, it's not easy giving your truthful answer. So if it was true as stated, that they accuse them of being AP coz they gave sincere opinions, I'm sad to say you should know who is in the wrong. However,they might had saw it from another perspective! Therefore, they should make things clear within themselves. It's none of my business (: But it's good to make things clear and prevent misunderstandings.

I have strong feeling they are going through what we went through. hah. Maybe we should give some advice. HAHAHA. Just kidding. Don't kill me. Anyway, as ___ puts it nicely, "I think 39 ma'ams thinks 38 ma'ams think we are better than them which is in fact not the case. [I totally agree coz our everything suck can. and as I see it, 39 ma'ams are so much better than us] And we thot 38 ma'ams are biased towards 39 ma'ams. but apparently, thay are not. [as we can see from their post that actually 38 ma'ams do the same things to them too] Actually it's not that we are good lor. It's just that we have good NCOs what." The rest shall be cut off. Because it's too... erm... hm... yea. Anyway, the main idea is that we used to suffer from 'depression' because our NCOs were too demanding. [as meichun says it, they are overly demanding]

When I say overly demanding, it's really overly demanding. They scold us for like almost everything, no matter correct or wrong. Even when we improved, they are not satisfied. Sad to say, this method is already outdated. Kids now are frail phychologically. Methods now takes care of they mental state at the same time. [ehh. It sounds as if we are mentally unstable >.<] However, somehow, I also don't know how, they figured out that "the more they scold the more we heck care" quoted from ____. Which I don't really agree. Is not we heck care la. I also don't know. But we become so hurt and stressed and pressurised phychologically that things like tiaolou-ing comes out. and that we didn't have the mind to go practise drills and improve ourselves to meet their standards. you know what we used to think "Practise for what? Even if we practise until perfect ma'ams will still not be satisfied. So what's the point?" haha. Oh yea. It's kind of 'heck care' But we didn't purposely want to 'heck care' them. They caused this phychological thinking in us that caused us to become 'heck care'. Anyway, they thus changed a softer approach (: which caused us to change our impressions of them. haha. Like as in I don't hate them anymore. And thus, at the same time caused us to practise chao hard for drills [not say very hard la. but much more. And it's really MUCHMUCH more] as in we try not to disappoint although I know we disappoint them every act... But the result is much better you see. And you get better relationships between NCOs and cadets. haha. Even melia agrees that 39 ma'ams are going through what we went through. Thinking of quiting as a squad, thinking everyone hates you, thinking that you are useless and extra and thinking that the world would be much better if you just disappeared. [as seen in chuxi's dream. Everyone will sing and dance the moment you are gone] I typed a paragraph at first. But I decided to cancel it coz it's... too... Stupid. Anyway, for me right, just an1 wei4 zi4 ji3 lor. There's not much you can do seriously except thinking of tiaolou-ing which makes you feel good for an instant. and cry lor. But the best way is to zi4 ji3 xiang3 tong1. Anyway, I think I can understand how you all are feeling now. Just like how we felt. Gosh. Okay. Maybe I don't. It's two different cases afterall. (: Just want to tell you all that you will always have squadmates to depend on. Like that was what kept us together through that horrible period of time. [?] hehe. I'm posting loads of crap. Let them go in from one side and come out from another. Aiya. I'm suddenly reminded of the NP board. >.<>.- hahah. like by just hacking in you can know things like which ma'am mc likes (: and other stuffs xD

erm.. yea as I was saying. Blogging is GOOD. And like sometimes some things [like in this case] you wouldn't have said all these at ma'ams' face right? hoho. Therefore blogging can also let your message across. yi ju liang de. Good right? [I sound like blogger paid me to advertise or something ( 3 )]

Oh ya. It's like kind of funny eh. haha I am not looking forward to being _____. If you all want I won't mind letting you all be for 2 years xD

Okay. That's all! [just a reminder. Don't take anything here seriously if it somewhat offends you. of something. I have learnt to not care if people hate me from the last fall. Thankyou. I know it's a great achievement (:]

kawaii!;
2:24 PM

Eh. Why am I the only one blogging arh?
Squadmates probably all died from a dried brain from studying safety first.
xD

Okie. Shall start with the horrble safety first test
Friday was safety first test. It was a sunny day at first. My classmates are naughty. They know that I have safety first test still ask me to do recipe analysis. That is why I did not get to do one last round of revision. [ehh. Okay... Enough of P1 compo]

Anyway, I was not very nervous coz I practically memorize everything in the notes. haha. And then a few careless mistakes and things I forgot to memorize would make up the 30% buffer which would allow me to pass.

Things turned out horrible on a nice day. A LOT OF QUESTIONS WERE NOT FROM THE NOTES! The the whole middle chunk of notes which I spent the MOST time memorizing [those on wet weather, what to check your car for and blahblah] did not even come out! What a waste of time. Fancy sacrificing my precious time for studying tkam on some crap stuff. [but I really find studying safety first... weird? I seems as if we were going to sit for a driving test at 14]. Anyway, I confirm fail tkam le.

Saturday. Organ lessons was okay... Ms Koh let me try a grade 5-4 song for fun. hehe. I mean it's not for fun. But it's just to occupy me will waiting for my results. >.<>.<

I was released 10 mins late [wrong estimation. I told melia I should be released punctually coz my exams over le] What's more, my mum arrive at like 1.25? [heh. She insists on bringing lunch for me and she's like 25 mins late. Horrible habit of hers] So in the end I only managed to reach IKEA at 2.30. melia and jung reached at about 2 so they went to search for the glass cups first.

Met them at Burger King and they had bought the cups le. 6 for $1.90 Cheap right? haha. but it's not as nice as Sijia ma'am de. Re-planned 39 ma'ams de prezzie coz we decided that the orginal idea wasn't very... hmm... Nice? Although we already bought all the materials and started a bit le. haha. Anyway, for the new idea, we have most of the materials. Only have to buy cloth.

Walked around to see if anywhere sells yellow cloth but don't have. So when we go Beautaiwai on Monday to but wire, shun bian go buy cloth.

Left at about 5 like that. So i decided to go straight to Mountbatten CC for my badminton. Following my sis's instructions, I took MRT to bedok then changed 196. And guess what?

MY SIS TOLD ME THE WRONG BUS!!!

Bish her la. It was supposed to be 197 -.- After sitting on the bus for like 40 mins, I asked my sis "You confirm is 196 or not? I sit for very long le but it hasn't passed Kong Hwa yet." and she went "Where are you now? Can you alight?" Woalau la. wth. And she asked me to take 1956 back to parkway then change 197. Sat for another like 10 mins or so to wait for suitable time to alight. [coz at that time, the bus was on a one way road. I wouldn't know where to take from if I alighted and I had to make sure there was someway for me to cross to the other side if it was a two way road]

HOHO. and guess what? I chose the right place to alight! There was 197 there too. So clever me took 197 all the way to khs bus stop and walked to mountbatten CC. and I reached at freaking 8 when I could have reached at 6.30. But I still managed to play awhile coz the 8-10 people haven't reach.

When I reached right, dad was playing with jk. but dad said he needed a rest so I played with kai. After a while, dad came and he said he wanted to play with me and asked kai to siam kai. But kai went "I know! I team with er jiejie okay?" So my dad didn't say anything. Then my dad wanted to practise smacks with me. As in train my catching of smacks la. Then my that bro keep kachiao-ing us.

Until my dad was sort of irritated. and he went [very politely] "Jing Kai. Enough? Want to rest alr?" And apparently he was getting too excited to hear. -.-

Kaes. That's all (: Bye!

kawaii!;
1:05 PM

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Hi peeps. piglet here...

I don't know why but I suddenly feel like posting.

I have this feeling... This feeling I had everyday last year during the period when 38ma'ams just took over. [I could say it was one of the darkest moments of my life. Life was just so depressing and all I could think of everyday is -- tiaolou]

I don't know why I'm blogging here but I guess I'm still back to square 1 -- relieving over the blog.

I'm blogging here because there's nothing jian bu de ren.

I don't know why I'm feeling like that. It was kind of sudden yal know.
I was still happy this afternoon. [this was what happened during da dark period. I wake up in the morning feeling best and until night I get more and more depressed. That's where I got my "Everyday is a new day" because I feel happy every morning.]

Hey! but this time's different! it's just some things that squadmates told me and then I got pissed and don't know what happened, I suddenly became like that. I was still being my normal self cursing and complaining to my sis about _____

I don't know what caused this, but this feeling is bad. I haven't had this kind of feeling ever since... I don't know.
But I'm quite positive it's caused by _____. I don't know... Not sure.

Haiz... first time I'm feeling depressed after such a long time. Or am I just feeling sian?
Squadmates repeated seeing *** at J8 to me like trice in 3 different convers at 3 different periods of time yesterday and today and everytime I will have reaction [?] [not only on the conver.] I start slapping my lap feeling angry with myself for not being to make it for unit hike and yet screwed up my organ exam. [I wouldn't feel that bad if I did well for my test. Coz I would have felt more worthit. damn this]

Cong ti2 qi3 the same event just now. By right, I should have reaction, but I don't know why, I just couldn't and didn't feel like. hahas. so I simply replied "sorry, but I'm not in the mood to react now..." [I don't know why... She's looking forward to seeing my reaction when I'm in the mood]

haiz. I don't know. Everytime squadmates start talking about unit hike online, it sounds so fun, and I feel like crying. [it reminds me of my organ test. more details in the happy family blog if you wanna know how badly I screwed up]

Went to __________'s blog just now. Squadmates couldn't get in coz there was password but I don't know why [ maybe blogger has gone crazy..] I got in without having to type password. and I cried reading it. haiz. Though I must say that she's too much a thinker [she thinks too profoundly of simple things] it was really really touching. Although it wasn't about us [it was about her squadmates], I think it applies to everyone in nynp. *shrugs* I have tong2 gan3. and it was a particular sentence that made me cry.

Okay. enough of destressing. I just want to say that

Now I finally understand. Yes, I understand and it's not your fault.
I totally understand how yal felt just like how I am feeling now.
Glad you said it out instead of keeping us in the dark.
we learnt. and we love yal.

[btw, this has nothing to do with the post.]

kawaii!;
9:17 PM