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Sunday, March 25, 2007

eh. I'm back. And I replying to someone's posts in my own point of view. So no offence to whoever I offend.

[I know I have no say in this. But I just want to say my opinion.] I know I might get hated for this post especially by someone who never fails to find all faults except those on herself. I know I have a nice password protected Happy Family blog which I can curse and offend whoever I want as much as I want. So why am I blogging here? Coz like I said I just want you all to know things from my point of view as a member of 40. [and I'm not going to care if you all hate me ok.]

I know this is none of my business but I can't help poking my head into this matter. Coz to a certain extend I disagree/agree with some stuffs.

First things first. You heard of something called ni kan wo hao, wo kan ni hao?
Humans are all like that. Can't help it. But you know something? You think _______ adores us and we are their bao3 bei4 while we think otherwise? We have always been thinking that you all are under nice care and protection of _______ while we are the ones that they always give chou lians at? and the ones they hate the most? We have always thought of ourselves as the worst squad ever. Only to realise you too, think the same way. What a joke.

I incidentally heard on the radio one day. The worst thing to do to your child is to compare him/her with other children. Maybe at the start they will try very hard to improve to meet your standards. But one day, when they realised that they will never be able to meet your expectations, they will just give up on themselves. And all these are caused by you. Many others, will start stealing etc. to grap your attention, knowing they can get your attention by the correct positive way, they will resort to other negative methods. Though I'm not sure what that means in a NYNP context, but I know hardly ever will they get a positive result.

[I'm just stating what I heard on the radio. As I am not in the whirlwind they are curently in therefore I can't just make pointless conclusions from a person in the situation's point of view]

haha. I suddenly think it's tough being NYNP cadets [??] Oh and NYNP is kind of funny. There's so much hatred. haha. this is so funny. We have to try our best not to be hated by ma'ams [and cadets??], and upon being hated, we have to try our best not to get affected and stand up on our feets bravely again, against all odds. Life has to go on. It's like nanyang life itself is not very slack already and what's all this rubbish for? haha.

Although I know that we have now xiang3 tong1 le and we don't really care if ma'ams hate us anymore, but I still remembered how depressed we were knowing everyone hates us. It's like so weird. You do well, you get hated, you don't do well, also get hated. haha. So we might as well tiao lou and end all agonies right?

haha. But on another thought, I think it's good training though. haha. Next time when we go out to work, we would have had more experience in these sorts of things. haha.

haha. I think like all batches in NYNP would at one point of time or another have thought of mass quiting together as a squad together. Times when you are feeling so depressed coz of whatever reasons. I think our squad thought of tiaolou-ing more times than wanting to mass quit. LOL. Come to think of it, it was really funny. Every night mass convers we will just keep thinking of tiao lou ing. lol. Squadmates made up things like "Let's meet at 2 early in the morning and we can go tiaolou together." Then other squadmates will go "MUST WAIT FOR ME HOR!" haha. Okay... It's funny now but it wasn't at that point of time.

There's another one that goes like this: We jump down, then instead of dropping directly, we will float to the TOs and go "Bye TOs" then float to 38 ma'ams and go "Bye ma'ams" then float to 39 ma'ams and go "Bye ma'ams" before we drop down and die. [actually I cannot really remember. But I think it was something like that la] Then everyone will attend our funeral. TOs upon seeing us dead, will hold hands and sing lalala song and dance. Then 38 ma'ams will come and seeing 40 dead, they will rejoice and hold hands [together with TOs] and do lalala song and dance. Then 39 ma'ams come and go "YAY! 40 si le!" and do lalala dance also with 38ma'ams and TOs.

Is it arh? I think it's wrong eh. but it's something like this la. OH. If I remember correctly, this was one of chuxi's dream. HAHAHA. So funny. Chuxi always have some funny dreams. I still remember last time chuxi dreamt that ________ force us to go zi sha. And another one was ________ chasing her with butcher knife.

Wait. I'm digressing. haha. I just want to say that there's always a fall in everyone's life. And just by chuxi's horrifying dreams we can infer that type of pressure we were under at that time. but the most important thing is that we stood up. [Although I think it's because of other reasons that made us able to stand up haha]

okok. Back to topic. ehh. erm. hmm. 1 thing. someone who expresses her views freely DEFINITELY does NOT have AP. In fact, I think she should be praised! Having the courage to express your zhen1 xin1 views is not easy. Especially in an environment like nynp =X haha. I'm not saying _________ accused _________ of having AP because they express their views freely. Coz like I said, I'm not in the situation and I do not understand the whole picture. But if what _________ said is true, [which might not be. Coz like I said it's a first person's point of view], _________ should apologise. Hey pleaaseeee. I totally agree with what my sis said once when we were quarelling over whose unit is better and about the barrier. "YOU THINK BY HAVING THE BARRIER, AND MAKING YOU ALL SCARED OF YOUR MA'AMS WILL ALLOW THEM TO HAVE TRUTHFUL ANSWERS FROM YOU?!!" I didn't know how to answer. so all I said was " We are not afraid of ma'ams, we truely respect them. Not like you"

That's not the point. haha. What I'm trying to say is many a times, they do not get truthful replies. Either they are trying to pai1 ma'am de ma3 pi4 or they are afraid their answer will de2 zui4 ma'am. I shall give you all an example:-

One day, 35 ma'ams talked to us, wanting to liao2 jie3 the NYNP now more and to get feedbacks from us so that they can help improve NYNP. and you wouldn't believe how many squadmates announced their love for drills and act. haha. and when there's like going to be act, everyone would be complaining and stuff and since you all like drills so much, why I don't see you all turning up for all squad meetings arh? WHY?

I'm not refering to anyone (: but if you think it's you... then CONGRATS! It's you then.

Wait. back to my point. As I was saying, therefore, it's not easy giving your truthful answer. So if it was true as stated, that they accuse them of being AP coz they gave sincere opinions, I'm sad to say you should know who is in the wrong. However,they might had saw it from another perspective! Therefore, they should make things clear within themselves. It's none of my business (: But it's good to make things clear and prevent misunderstandings.

I have strong feeling they are going through what we went through. hah. Maybe we should give some advice. HAHAHA. Just kidding. Don't kill me. Anyway, as ___ puts it nicely, "I think 39 ma'ams thinks 38 ma'ams think we are better than them which is in fact not the case. [I totally agree coz our everything suck can. and as I see it, 39 ma'ams are so much better than us] And we thot 38 ma'ams are biased towards 39 ma'ams. but apparently, thay are not. [as we can see from their post that actually 38 ma'ams do the same things to them too] Actually it's not that we are good lor. It's just that we have good NCOs what." The rest shall be cut off. Because it's too... erm... hm... yea. Anyway, the main idea is that we used to suffer from 'depression' because our NCOs were too demanding. [as meichun says it, they are overly demanding]

When I say overly demanding, it's really overly demanding. They scold us for like almost everything, no matter correct or wrong. Even when we improved, they are not satisfied. Sad to say, this method is already outdated. Kids now are frail phychologically. Methods now takes care of they mental state at the same time. [ehh. It sounds as if we are mentally unstable >.<] However, somehow, I also don't know how, they figured out that "the more they scold the more we heck care" quoted from ____. Which I don't really agree. Is not we heck care la. I also don't know. But we become so hurt and stressed and pressurised phychologically that things like tiaolou-ing comes out. and that we didn't have the mind to go practise drills and improve ourselves to meet their standards. you know what we used to think "Practise for what? Even if we practise until perfect ma'ams will still not be satisfied. So what's the point?" haha. Oh yea. It's kind of 'heck care' But we didn't purposely want to 'heck care' them. They caused this phychological thinking in us that caused us to become 'heck care'. Anyway, they thus changed a softer approach (: which caused us to change our impressions of them. haha. Like as in I don't hate them anymore. And thus, at the same time caused us to practise chao hard for drills [not say very hard la. but much more. And it's really MUCHMUCH more] as in we try not to disappoint although I know we disappoint them every act... But the result is much better you see. And you get better relationships between NCOs and cadets. haha. Even melia agrees that 39 ma'ams are going through what we went through. Thinking of quiting as a squad, thinking everyone hates you, thinking that you are useless and extra and thinking that the world would be much better if you just disappeared. [as seen in chuxi's dream. Everyone will sing and dance the moment you are gone] I typed a paragraph at first. But I decided to cancel it coz it's... too... Stupid. Anyway, for me right, just an1 wei4 zi4 ji3 lor. There's not much you can do seriously except thinking of tiaolou-ing which makes you feel good for an instant. and cry lor. But the best way is to zi4 ji3 xiang3 tong1. Anyway, I think I can understand how you all are feeling now. Just like how we felt. Gosh. Okay. Maybe I don't. It's two different cases afterall. (: Just want to tell you all that you will always have squadmates to depend on. Like that was what kept us together through that horrible period of time. [?] hehe. I'm posting loads of crap. Let them go in from one side and come out from another. Aiya. I'm suddenly reminded of the NP board. >.<>.- hahah. like by just hacking in you can know things like which ma'am mc likes (: and other stuffs xD

erm.. yea as I was saying. Blogging is GOOD. And like sometimes some things [like in this case] you wouldn't have said all these at ma'ams' face right? hoho. Therefore blogging can also let your message across. yi ju liang de. Good right? [I sound like blogger paid me to advertise or something ( 3 )]

Oh ya. It's like kind of funny eh. haha I am not looking forward to being _____. If you all want I won't mind letting you all be for 2 years xD

Okay. That's all! [just a reminder. Don't take anything here seriously if it somewhat offends you. of something. I have learnt to not care if people hate me from the last fall. Thankyou. I know it's a great achievement (:]

kawaii!;
2:24 PM